I had a special funeral dress by the time I was 17, and by the time I was in my early 20′s, I lost track of how many loved ones I had lost. I am no stranger to death. At 16 I watched the most important person in my life, my mom, take her last breaths. After all of this, I wouldn’t have thought that the loss of a pet that was only in my home for two weeks would affect me so deeply —- but I would have thought wrong.
My boyfriend and I welcomed our first ferret into our home just 5 months ago. His name is Charlie, and he’s awesome. He’s given us countless hours of entertainment. Shortly after he joined us, we began talking about finding him a brother/playmate. Our search was not a short one.
We looked to the shelters first, but some were just too far away for a couple without a car and one wouldn’t allow us to adopt because our cat is not vaccinated (as was recommended by our vet because of his age and a possible reaction to the vaccine). Our next stop was Craigslist. I answered several ads, but was mostly ignored. The few that answered me seemed insulted that I asked if their ferrets were vaccinated, claiming that they were long time ferret owners and that ferrets don’t need to be vaccinated. (If you are considering adopting a ferret, please know that this is not true. Ferrets do need yearly vaccinations for rabies and most importantly for distemper.)
Finally, about a month and a half ago, I got a response. This was a young girl leaving for college, and she couldn’t take her beloved ferret, Ringo Starr, with her. He hadn’t been vaccinated, but I was okay with that. I just wanted to know ahead of time what kind of vet bill I’d be looking at. It took a month, but we finally got our fuzzies together, and three days later, Ringo came home with us.
Everything we read claimed that ferrets need to be kept separate for a week or two, allowing them to interact for a little bit each day so they can bond. By the second night in our home, Ringo joined Charlie in his cage and they were sleeping snuggled up together. It couldn’t have been a more perfect match.
Our plan was to get Ringo to the vet within a month or two. We figured that he had gone two years without his vaccinations; another month or so wouldn’t hurt. He seemed healthy and active. I noticed his hind legs shaking a little bit his first few days home. I assumed it was nerves. After all, he didn’t just join a new household, he joined a new household with a child, a cat and another ferret – all of which were new to him. I didn’t notice the shaking after the first week, and so thought nothing else of it.
Then this past Tuesday night, I walked past our fuzzies’ cage and noticed Ringo hanging upside down almost completely out of his hammock. At first I thought it was cute. I’ve seen them sleep in wacky positions before and just figured this was another new one. Then I noticed that he was awake. I picked him up, but he was barely moving. His breathing seemed steady, but he would just stay in whatever position I held him in. I yelled for my boyfriend, and we began the quest for vet care.
We placed Ringo in his own cage to monitor him. We laid him in his hammock, and tried to get him to drink. My boyfriend went back to calling vets while I searched the internet for answers. I must have gotten up every five minutes to check on Ringo. He was breathing, but still not moving. And then he had what I can only guess was a seizure. I picked him up, wrapped him in his blanket and held him close.
My boyfriend was on the phone with yet another vet when I yelled that I didn’t think Ringo was breathing. A ferret’s breathing is sometimes soft, and we were both still hoping we were wrong. We kept waiting to see his little body move, but it didn’t. And I lost it.
This little fuzzy depended on me, and I let him down. I should have brought him to the vet for his shots right away; maybe she would have seen something then. I should have called the vet when I first noticed the shaking; maybe this all could have been prevented. As soon as I saw him not moving, I should have hopped in a cab to the emergency vet hospital. I should have, I should have, I should have . . . It’s all I keep thinking about. Logic aside, I can’t help but blame myself.
It doesn’t matter how many deaths I’ve been through, human or animal, each one is brand new and brings a new pain.
Ringo may have only been a part of our family for two weeks, but he will be in our hearts forever.